PollyAnna eat my dust….ummm can you wait for me though I’m running a 14 minute mile back here!!!


Today was the worst run ever or to put a Polly-fricken-Anna smile on it
I broke my personal rule of running, which is to only make one change, and I learned the following valuable run lessons:
1. Fig newtons hate me….they are NOT “fruit and cake” they are PUKE and cake….
2. My old ICU co-workers should feel free to reserve a 18G nasal gastric tube for me bcz it will fit in with no issues, the left nare is totally patent (I literally spewed an entire pomegranate bean through it on mile six)
3.  Energy beans do not absorb via the nasal cavity, therefore they do not provide fuel
4. I am intimately aware that should I ever oddly desire 2 re -lactate, and become a militant earth mother, I will know exactly what it feels like to breast feed a rambunctious 5 year old since my beloved Nathan’s vest attacked me for the first 4 miles…..
5. In desperation to fix the chaffing from my beloved boyfriend Nathan (jerk)  I stripped out of my tank on trail , with no regard to any random passerby….I did not even hold in my stomach……
6. The running Gods gave ME, a chunky, sweaty, chaffed and beaten white girl a random homeless person’s t shirtpollyanna that smelled distinctly of deer urine and old sweat which I WORE and put back on my Nathan…
7.  I ran through nine miles of torn up sand from healthy 20 year old GIs, that just yesterday I had merrily smiled and waved at.  Today I made plans to find their barracks and key their car…..
8.  It was a balmy 92 degrees with a heat index of Christ in a red dress drinking margaritas HOT!



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