DNF, DNS, DFL….What’s the BFD?

portapottyDNFDNF, DNS, DFL…..What is the BFD?????  well it is huge I tell you…huge…..  GIGANTANUS bigger……..than if GU was to release Krispy Kreme flavored GU with a caffeine content of 70mg HUGE!!! krisypykreme(and I would be standing in line like Apple product launch standing in line for that creamy stuff of deliciousness I am just saying…AND really REALLY sad that I sold my stock in Krispy Kreme when they were kinda in the porta-potty of stock if you know what I mean….not that my penny stocks of medical maryjane are doing that swell but hey…not all of us can be the WOLF OF WALL STREET!)

If you are from anywhere up north you know the acronym BFD….it was our high school cry out…it was more common than LOL is today….after all what WAS the BFD?  the Big F@#!ing Deal????  Now we did have some kids at my school that practiced the BHD…but after asking guitar man who grew up in Indiana …and being met with a hugely blank stare….I believe the Big Hairy Deal must be a purely Michigan abbreviation that only the truly straight laced are even remotely familiar with…..Which also led me to shout to my daughter hey….BAE..we were using text talk before we even had bag cell phones…just FYI (another textable that WE invented teenagers, so don’t be too smug….) there is no impressing a 17 year old high school senior…..

The ultra running world is full of a unique language all to their own.  DNF means Did Not Finish….it is bad….uber bad.  What is WORSE, is it slightly incorrect in my black and white concrete mind.  I understand the black and white DNF…..the runner did NOT CROSS THE LINE WITH HIS OR HER BIB…..ie they died or left the race…..I got it.  Makes sense right??? But oh no….the ultra world is a cruel and unusual middle school world sometimes….A runner can be within SIGHT or even touch of the finish line and if the cannon or timer ends they are considered a DNF………Some races have unusual and harsh ways of making sure the racers absolutely know they are DNF-ers……At some races it is rumored they just shoot the runners who do not cross the line in time in the black toenail of their choice so they will not post endlessly on Facebook about their DNF …….(If you wish to read a truly well written article about DNF and how to avoid check this one out!!) I suggest we simply add a letter or three in the spirit of ultra running…after  all the ultra running community is a FUN crew!! How about…DNFBISOL??? It is kind of SNAZZY!!!  Did Not Finish But In Sight Of Line?  I believe this is rather fair…and I believe some sort of firestarter or whatever those rally-together-throw-internet-money-at-a- good-cause thingys are called so we can buy more well crafted beer at the finish line. This would be an excellent idea for this sort of venture!!! Who needs well crafted beer more than a shot in the toenail….DNFBISOL??????  All I ask is that you marinate on it…..

Next is the DNS…. Did Not Start….um why is this a designated acronym? Is it like a call out at work?  Like three DNS episodes in a rolling calender year and you are terminated from the ultra community?  Why not…..YDG….You Didn’t GO…..SCU….Something Came UP…..YDD…..Your Dog Died…..I believe this one is because ultra runners are the most committed people I have EVER met…..WHICH IS AWESOME!! They need a code for why they didn’t do something….but you totes gotta explain that to marathon peeps…because those jokers be swappin’ bibs at the expo like a 1970’s key party!  “Oh you not gonna run the MCM….here give me a 20 spot…you can have my bib.”  That kind of thing just does not occur at the The Ultra Trail du Mont Albert……..zamboni

Now my personal favorite DFL……or Dead F*&^ing Last…….this takes incredible SKILL people. This is not 5K DFL…….Being the Zamboni of the 100 mile race takes balls…..Remember you are in grave danger of having your toenails shot off…..there may be no snacks left….someone may have drank YOUR BEER!!!! timing is critical….this is not a spot to play with peeps.  I can not find much research in the proper training of how to become an excellent DFL-er….therefor the GOOD NEWS is it is a wide open area for exploration…..YOU CAN OWN IT!!! YOU……YES>>>>YOU…..could be the guru of the DFL…I, for one, would be interested in reading your training strategy…….run balls

******as always this post is intended to in NO WAY OFFEND ANYONE………… please leave any comments and acronyms I may have missed or jacked up, thank you kindly, hugs!! grittyglittergirl!!

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<p>Original article: <a href=”{ http://www.grittyglittergirl.com/dnf-dns-dfl-whats-the-bfd/running/ultra/marathon/mom}”>{DNF, DNS, DFL….What’s the BFD?}</a>.</p>

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